The fact of the matter is, when it comes to dancing, the vast majority of us have two left feet. Sadly, whenever I take to a dance floor, I miraculously sprout an additional left foot and effortlessly clear the floor in a kind of 'shock and awe' spectacle that can leave those in my vicinity in a state of distress.
How do I know this? Because many years ago, in a nightclub in France, I inadvertently caught sight of myself in a full-length mirror as my body attempted to move to the rhythm of a song which I'd never heard before but rather liked.
To my surprise and disappointment, the reflected image looking back at me was one of a person whose brain appeared to have completely disconnected with his body. 'Coordination' clearly wasn't in the vocabulary of this person, nor was 'elegance' or 'style'. I wanted the disco ball that spun above my head to come loose and knock me out. But it didn't.
The torrid experience left me troubled and humiliated, and it was years before I summoned up enough courage to return to the dance floor – and even then it was only because it provided a shortcut to the bar.
Despite the difficulties, memories and occasional nightmares, the forthcoming Move It dance show at Olympia in March actually sounds rather appealing. With lots of dance classes available during the three-day show, Move It could well be my route back to the dance floor.
Classes can be booked in advance or joined on the day (subject to availability) and cost from £7.50 – very reasonable for an hour's worth of expert tuition.
There'll also be a slew of fabulous performances to enjoy, with the Main Stage, Freestyle Stage, Showcase Theatre and Interview Sofa all promising great entertainment.
On top of all that, you'll also want to check out the offerings of dance-related businesses attending the show – you never know, you might be able to get a good deal on that spandex outfit you've had your eye on for your next disco trip.
Tickets for the Move It dance show cost between £10.75 and £14, though family deals are also available, as are two- and three-day passes.