Freelance writer and poet from London; if you would like to read my poetry, please check out my book, 'Poems on the Page', available from goo.gl/Ta4oAX.
Published August 2nd 2014
A Shopping Trip Men will Enjoy
There is not a lot of difference between Neolithic Man and Modern Man. Let's do a comparison:
When Neolithic Man discovered sticks and stones, he learnt how to clobber things. He used sticks to bang people over the head and he used stones in to throw at and kill wild animals. Modern Man still gets a kick out of fighting and hunting. He learns how to wrestle, he learns how to box, and he learns how to fire a gun to go hunting.
When Neolithic Man discovered fire, he learnt how to cook food over an open flame. Modern Man loves to flip burgers on a barbecue, go camping, and light bonfires.
When Neolithic Man invented the wheel, he learnt how to push and carry things more easily, and he learnt how to travel from one place to another faster. Modern Man loves his handy wheel barrow in the allotment, and has a need for speed when it comes to cool cars.
That isn't to say that Man has not evolved; over thousands of years of trial and error, he has found ways to make his hobbies easier and more enjoyable. Out of all the things men do enjoy doing, shopping is usually not one of them. In general this pass time is favoured more by women. This is probably why men always leave Christmas and birthday presents until the last minute.
But recently I found a shop that all of Menkind will want to go to. Located on the ground floor or Westfield London shopping centre in Shepherd's Bush, Menkind has something for every type of man: Intelligent Man, Handy Man, Gadget Man, Professional Man, men who are still boys, and girls who don't do Barbie.
I don't know about you, but I often find buying for men more difficult than buying for women. Stacked with all the boys toys you could think of, Menkind is the perfect place to find a gift for your hubby, son, brother, or friend.
In the middle isle is a range of all of foodie gadgets, such as a snow cone maker, slushy maker, 100% Pain hot sauce, a BBQ branding iron (so he really can put name on it), and a portable barbecue in a bag, and a fencing sword-skewer.
The Boy Racer
There are countless remote control cars on the market, but Menkind have some of the most innovative and exciting. My favourite was the wall climbing car. If your man has one of these, then he could quite literally be driving you up the wall.
Isn't it annoying when your happily driving along, and then bang, crash, wallop, it goes straight into a kerb, is tossed upside down, and is as helpless as an upturned tortoise? Not with a car that automatically turns itself upright again.
Menkind also had remote control helicopters and various other aerial vehicles.
The Stylish One
For the man who wants to look his best, you'll want to get him some smart accessories. Perhaps a pair of cufflinks, a snazzy lighter, a smart looking pen, or a cool man-bag. Maybe in his down time he'd like to relax in a comfy Jedi dressing gown or socks that look like sandals.
The Boy Who Would Not Grow Up
If you've got a man who is still a boy, then treat him to an adult sized space hopper or giant bubble machine. And if he has been hard at work in the garden, then help him stay squeaky clean with an immature Nose shower gel dispenser.
At the back of the shop is the more adult section, where you will find rude novelty items, and jokes.
The Brainy One
Got a high IQ? Then why not have a go at QI? Or Egg Heads or Catch Phrase or Pointless, or any other TV quiz show you can think of? There are numerous board game versions of them all, which will appeal to the whole family.