Freelance writer and poet from London; if you would like to read my poetry, please check out my book, 'Poems on the Page', available from goo.gl/Ta4oAX.
Published January 25th 2014
Have a Quack Over Coffee
The Mallard Tea Shop
If you have a fear of ducks, then The Mallard Tea Shop is probably not for you; otherwise take a seat and enjoy a mid-morning coffee or afternoon lunch.
Upon first entering, the decor looked not unlike that of any other cafe, but as I sat down I began to absorb my surroundings. There were ducks everywhere. Duck plates, duck portraits, duck ornaments, duck toys. Ducks, ducks, ducks. There only place there was not a duck was on the menu (maybe that's because the like them too much).
Saying that, there is a duckling's menu for children. This is similar to the adult menu, only more limited and presumably smaller portions.
As our party sat down, we spotted a Christmas cake on one of the tables, labelled £42. Fortunately the rest of what was on offer was at a much more sensible price, with nothing costing more than £6.95.
As it was only eleven in the morning, all we wanted was tea and coffee, but we were all licking our lips at the menu, which is displayed on chalkboards on the wall. The day's special was local potted shrimp, while the regulars included homemade soup, sandwiches, and jacket potatoes. Most of the fillings were your typical offering, but the ham, pineapple, and mayonnaise stood out as something different.
Takeaway Cakes and Pudding
The Mallard also does a selection of homemade puddings which can be eaten in or taken away. Our mouths were watering over jam sponge with custard and pear cake. We considered buying some before leaving, but forgot. Doh.