Love fruit in your cake, but hate fruit cake? Hunt over
Stuck in Birmingham and pining for a pain au chocolat? Or, happily in Birmingham and in need of un café et un gateau. That was possibly the worst French ever written.
Whatever your French speaking, writing, listening or reading ability, it doesn't matter, because you don't need to know a word of it to order from Madeleine (phew!).
Located on Level 7 of The Cube (which, is the level above the gym - so maybe go there before or after to burn off the gluttonous behaviour that will transpire), Madeleine is a taste of France in Birmingham. Considering that Birmingham is the Paris of the U.K, it couldn't be more perfect. I'm lying to you, Birmingham is not the Paris of the U.K.
With freshly made salads, smoothies, omlettes, pancakes, sandwiches and cakes galore you are going to leave fat and happy.
Part of the menu! The rest of the board still doesn't cover all the options
If I may (I'm going to anyway), let me recommend the following as a perfect introductory course in how to eat the maximum amount of food with the minimum amount of that 'I ate too much' feeling:
1. Order a cappucino - mais oui 2. Enjoy with an egg white omelette with no bread - because you're healthy, and you love the gym, and everyone should leave you alone ….évidemment. 3. Now order another caffeinated beverage - vive la France! 4. Then, if you like fruit in your pudding, order the peach cake - gives me a joie de vivre that can sometimes be lacking on a drizzly Tuesday
For those of you that don't like fruit in your pudding, go away. Why on earth are you reading this article. I joke, I kid, I jest. Pull up a chair, put up your feet, stay for un autre café. There are plenty of choices for you. How about the Oreo cake? No, the double chocolate cake? Getting warmer, aren't I? The coffee cake? The red velvet? Look you're fussy and there are lots of options. Some of which I don't know because as much as I'd like to go there every day and find out what has been freshly baked that day, I can't. Life is cruel and unfair.
Cakes! Don't you love that they cover them so fruit flies don't bother them - I hate fruit flies
I'm just going to dwell a little longer on some of my favourites…because, sometimes picturing cake can also make me happy: There's the pineapple cake. Similar to the sponge of the peach cake with buttercream icing on top and in the middle, and real pieces of fruit. The chocolate and cherry cake…. oh, the chocolate and cherry cake. The light and fluffy coconut cake…. there was once a tropical cake with strawberry and kiwis. I remember it fondly…. but the peach cake, oh how I could write you a sonnet.
Peach Cake you bring me immeasurable joy
When eating you is finished I wonder
Should I order another I ponder
But if I do I limit my innards and my choice
Because all of your options are incredibly nice.
Please say nice like Adam Samberg aka Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, otherwise the whole thing doesn't work.
Peach Cake! Covered to prevent attack from fruit flies, hangry humans and hungry bears
Back to Madeleine, or should I say madeleines. How can a French cafe not serve these 19th century tiny, fluffly, spongey delights originally from the Lorraine region of France? They can't. Believe me when I say, the madeleines from Madeleine are très bien.
With that, I will leave you to ponder the following:
- The meaning of life
- When your schedule will allow you to eat all the food at Madeleine, Birmingham
- Why a woman whose French skills are so obviously lacking, insisted on permeating her article with said language
- Why anyone would write a terrible sonnet for peach cake, and put it out there for the world to see
Madeleine is open every day of the week, but not every day of the year. Check here for timings and contact details.