Veer right if you fancy grabbing a cosy booth at the bar for a cocktail, or head onwards towards the backset kitchen if you're here for the eats. You'll silently wonder if being heavily tattooed is part of the uniform as you're handed menus (separate vegan one available) and seated with a smile amongst exposed brick walls peppered with effortlessly grungy wall art.
Not sure where to start? Pick and mix from the 'small junk' section and match your sharers with your choice of fries (4 kinds available including sweet potato and even cubed yam).
Alternatively, you can opt for what's fast becoming a Down the Hatch staple: Satan's Strips 'n' Chips (or what we dubbed them on the day as 'mystery strips') deep fried seasonal seitan fillet served with fries, an adorable babygem salad cup and your choice of dipping sauce all for a humble £6.00.
If you're feeling like something more substantial, then the 'Bun Junk' section has got you covered. No measly soggy patties here. There's a sterling choice of 4 hearty burgers, each more appealing than the last. The solid drinks menu offers a great accompaniment to your bun junk, too. Wash it down with the likes of a super refreshing Soho juice or a zesty Ting.
The venue itself used to be a gin bar, so if you're in the mood for something boozy you're still in luck. Check out the vegan wines and Korean pale ales, grab a signature cocktail or even keep it classic with a can of Hooch.
I would argue that one of the only setbacks of this vegan wonderland is that if you have an aversion to gluten then you're likely to get a serious case of FOMO when scanning this menu. Unfortunately, coeliacs are well advised to give this place a wide berth in my opinion, as the menu is largely wheat and gluten heavy.
Moving through the veggie menu, the Bucket o' Veg sharer was certainly a highlight and no stone was left unturned as we excitedly delved into the combo of fried delights - lightly battered halloumi, seitan strips, aubergine and yellow peppers literally served in a bucket and presented with charred corn on the cob and a side of slaw. Admitting defeat about three quarters of the way down, we all agreed that there was enough going on here to entice even the most avid meat-eater into its veggie depths.
With junk food at the forefront of the venue's concept, the 'home-cooked' section of the menu seems somewhat out of place yet adds a welcome touch if you happen to be craving some homely comfort food. Take your pick from DTH's take on some hearty classics such as Blue Mountain Ital Stew, Thai Grade Green Curry, Veggie Lasagne and even Pie Liquor and mash.
Blue Mountain Ital Stew - hearty Jamaican stew served with traditional corn flour dumpling
At this point, any foodies worth their salt should be happily harbouring a food baby by now, but hold on to your forks guys, because the gastro gluttony 'aint over just yet.
For a place that prides itself on its calorific mains, perhaps one of the most surprising aspects of the menu was the calibre of desserts on offer. With the puddings section aptly titled 'The End' we opted for the homemade chocolate fudge brownie garnished with a few strawberries and served with the tastiest of vegan ice-creams. Gloriously gooey, it certainly finished us off.
Chocolate Fudge cake with Vegan Ice Cream
All in all, Down the Hatch feels like you're on to a winner and leaves you keen to return for more. I already can't wait to sink my teeth into the 'cauliflower 5 ways' in all its saucy glory and sample the delights of the vegan only menu too.
Decidedly a hipster hangout, DTH is well worth the visit (and the food coma) for hungry herbivores and meat-lovers alike. Whatever your feelings towards veganism as a lifestyle choice, you simply can't deny that good food is good food, regardless.
Let's face it - plant-based dieters deserve to indulge every once in a while too.