I can't play basket ball, but I'm good at dunking.
I can't swim, but I'm an excellent diver. I like to dip, but I'm not skinny. What sport do I play?
Okay, yeah, that question is only a challenge if you haven't read the title, but hey, you can always pretend you didn't see it.
Dodgeball has a reputation for being part of a dreaded high school gym class, but that is one that is undeserved (well, mostly). Since Dodgeball UK was founded in 2009, it has become a national sport. They run a number of leagues, clubs, classes, and tournaments throughout the year. You don't need any previous experience to join. All that's required is a sense of humour and the balls to get beat.
Dodgeball UK is running five tournaments this year, and the first is just around the corner.
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and...DATE 21st March, 7pm, Powerleague, Old Street, London, £7.50 each or £10 for two people
You've heard of speed dating, well this is dodge dating. It is a chance for single folk to vent their frustration by whacking people with their balls. There will be several rounds, and teams will be swapped so that everyone gets a chance to meet and chat. Be careful who you decide to pummel; you might have to face them on an official date later. After the game, there will be food and drink, so you can get to no one another in a more civilised manner.
St George's Day Dodgeball Tournament 23rd April, 7pm, Powerleague, Old Street, London, £70 per team
Gather up your pub friends and tell them quiz night is off. Instead your team is now going to Dodgeball UK's infamous annual St. George's Day bash. It will be a 'bloody English' affair, so dress the part, and pick an all important team name. Personally I like the sound of The Dandy Dodgers.
Halloween Hell 1st November, 2pm, Play on Sports, Canary Wharf, London, £70 per team
Don't throw away your Halloween costume just yet; you'll need it for a spooky game of dodgeball. Come as a ghost - the balls will go straight through you.
Santa's Xmas Bash 6th December, 2pm, Play on Sports, Canary Wharf, London, £70 per team
Dress festive and enter a mincemeat pie eating competition. Hopefully this is after the match.
Santa's Shoreditch Xmas Bash 10th December, 7pm, Powerleague, Old Street, London, £50 per team
Feeling greedy? Fill up on more pies, and fun at their second Christmas do. Remember to dress seasonally or everyone will call you Scrooge.