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An Adult Christmas at Leicester Square Theatre

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by Bastion Harrison (subscribe)
Freelance writer and poet from London; if you would like to read my poetry, please check out my book, 'Poems on the Page', available from
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Have a Dirty Christmas

Santa Claus has two lists. One names all the children that have been good, and one that names all the children that have been bad. Good kids get presents, bad kids get a lump of coal. This is an incentive to keep children well behaved.

Adults on the other hand, have nothing to worry about. Santa does keep tabs on grown ups, so feel free to be as naughty as you like. Most of us don't need any help when it comes to committing sins, but if you are an angel short of ideas, and want some advice on how to fall from grace, then may I suggest a visit to Leicester Square Theatre, where you can experience all the fun things children like - pantomime, musicals, the circus - but with an adult twist.

Dick! Comes Again: Bigger, Longer, Harder!

Just as suggestive as it sounds, 'London's No.1 adult panto' is playing from the 27th November to the 7th December. Tickets are between 18.50-20.50, and it sees the return of Miss Dusty 'O' as Miss Sofonda Cox, and Nick Read as Dick the Cat.


This dirty Christmas musical sees Santa Claus getting ready for retirement. Before he can hang up his red hat, he needs to find a replacement. He find the perfect guy, a Canadian called Gerald. Unfortunately, the elves accidentally hire, Gerald's evil twin called Malcolm, who turns the toy factory into a hedonistic grotto, along with his sexy PA, Kandy Kane. The show runs between the 10th-19th December, and tickets cost 15.

Cirque Du Cabaret

Although not particularly Christmassy in theme, this burlesque performance on the 20th December is a good show if you are looking for alternative Christmas entertainment. Tickets are 15-22.50, and includes saucy circus magic and music.
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Why? Christmas is for adults too
When: 27th Nov - 20th Dec
Phone: 08448 733433
Where: Leicester Square Theatre
Cost: 15-22.50
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